Willow : "The Lyin', The Witch And The Wardrobe" In order to get into why I wrote Willow the way that I did in season 8, I have to go back to the beginning. Back to season 1, episode 1 of the series. This character is two things to me. First, she is one of the most well developed, layered, complex, interesting characters I have ever seen on screen. And then again, she's also the most annoyingly misused, abused, sold out characters that I can get quite angry about at times. Why is this, you might ask? Well… let's not get ahead of ourselves. Instead let's go back to where it all started. In season 1 of the show, Willow was everyone's best friend (the Scoobies anyway). The computer geek that people loved to have around for study reasons, and liked to buddy around with, but when it came to guys (Xander in particular), she might as well have been Marcie Ross. This is where the foundation of Willow's character was put down. She never thought that she was good enough. In "Welcome To The Hellmouth", she thinks that Buffy is ditching her, despite Buffy's saying that she would be right back at the Bronze. Before that, she couldn't believe that Buffy was even talking to her. As the season went on, Willow watched as Xander drooled over Buffy, once again making Willow believe that she wasn't cool enough. This is a common theme for Willow. She never believed that she was good enough, or cool enough, or powerful enough. She never felt worthy of anyone's love or attention. This could stem from the fact that her parents always seemed to be AWOL, but I won't go too deeply into that angle. In season 2, Willow's issues continued, and her pain increased. Now, not only was Xander not seeing Willow as a potential love interest, but he was actually dating someone that he hated instead of Willow, who has been his best friend since they were kids. So why would Xander be interested in Cordelia? To Willow, it would appear that it was all about cool factor. The cool, fashion model type, popular cheerleader. Pretty much the opposite of how Willow viewed herself. As the season went on, Willow also watched Buffy battle demons week after week, while Willow remained the victim. After a while, Oz comes into the picture. A nice, cool, kinda popular guy who isn't interested in Buffy or Cordelia. He's interested in Willow. But is Willow interested in him? While I do believe that Willow had feelings for Oz that were deep and complex, I am not entirely sure that she wasn't using Oz. When they first begin seeing each other, Willow sometimes wants to use Oz as a means of revenge on Xander, for dating Cordelia. Throwing out the fact that Oz has a van with just a smidge of "ha ha" in her tone in "Innocence", and then wanting to make out with Oz to get back at Xander, which Oz actually calls her on. It doesn't end here though. While Willow and Oz move into the realm of the cutesy couple, there are still signs of Willow's motivation for being with Oz. For example, look at "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered", where Willow gloats to Amy that her boyfriend is in a band, thus earning cool points for herself. While Willow is building up her reputation, slowly but surely, she is also starting to explore an avenue which would allow her to lose the "weak geek" image and become a more powerful helper to Buffy. After the death of Jenny Calendar, Willow starts to look over some spells and magic books and the seed of the witch is planted within her. At the end of the season, we see Willow insisting that she can pull off the spell of restoration on Angel, despite Giles' warnings that it's very dangerous and could open doors that Willow may not be able to close again. This brings us to season 3. The first shot of the season is of Willow trying to assert her power as she stands over the grave of an emerging vampire, in an attempt to make up for Buffy's absence. She's been working on her magic skills over the summer, and while they have progressed, she isn't able to control them as much as she'd like to (as evidenced by her extra crispy comforter). We see Willow begin to use magic as the answer to all of her problems in this season. For example, when she and Xander find themselves attracted to each other, she attempts to perform a de-lusting spell to quell their rampaging hormones. In "Gingerbread", we see her use her relationship with Oz and her use of witchcraft to spark a response from her mother, who hasn't been paying much attention to her. This is a prime example of one of Willow's cries for help and recognition. She sees herself as less than worthy because of a lack of love from her parents, a lack of attention from Xander, and the constant pressure of being Buffy's weak sidekick. The inferiority complex is pushed even more when Faith shows up and (at least, as Willow sees it) Buffy begins to ditch Willow in favor of hanging out with Faith. From Willow's point of view, Buffy would prefer to hang out with someone cooler and more powerful than Willow. Once again, just like with Xander and Cordelia, Willow isn't good enough. When Willow finds out that Xander lost his virginity to Faith instead of her, she is heartbroken. While she may be dating Oz at that time, it's clear that she had always envisioned herself and Xander marking that occasion together. It wasn't just that Xander slept with Faith (which is bad enough), but he lost his virginity to someone he didn't even care about in that way. In Willow's eyes, it should have been her. As the season goes on, we see Willow pushed around a little bit more. In the episode, "Doppelgangland", we see quite a bit of Willow's issues put on the table for us to see pretty clearly. When she's pretty much ordered to do all of Percy's work for him by Snyder, she becomes quite tired of being the meek, reliable little Willow that people can ignore when they want to, and then walk all over when they need her. She proclaims that she is going to change herself. Maybe change her look in an attempt to become a new, cooler Willow (which causes some funny confusion later on at the Bronze when vampire Willow shows up). As Willow searches for a way to break free from her normal self, Anya approaches her with the chance to perform a spell. Willow is psyched to help and even hopes that it's dangerous. She wants to assert herself by performing a dangerous spell. She is using magic as an escape, not unlike someone going out to a wild party and getting drunk. In season 4, Willow's arc steps into high gear. Her desire to become someone new and escape the old "geek" label causes all kinds of fun. From a new wardrobe to a new push to become a more powerful witch. In the opening of the season, we see Willow begin college. This is her domain. Finally, a place where it's okay to be a brain and you don't have to worry about being a geek. But things don't go exactly as Willow planned. While all seems to go well at first, Willow continues to push her ability to use magic. Around the time of "Fear, Itself", we see this issue manifest itself. Willow it sick and tired of being the sidekick to Buffy and wants to become a greater power so that she can stand on her own two feet. She is willing to push her limits, despite the concerns of those who love her. The only problem is that she seems to hit a brick wall as far as magic goes. Once she reaches a certain point, she begins to find it harder and harder to press on. Willow's "coolness" issues once again come into play around the time of "Beer Bad", when Veruca comes onto the scene and Willow senses something between Veruca and Oz. In "Wild At Heart", the Oz/Veruca relationship reaches a new level that Willow is hurt deeply by. In this episode, we see Willow turn to magic as a means of dealing with her issues as she has before, but in a way that is very much darker than before. Though she can't bring herself to curse Oz for life, she does come very close. By the end of the episode, Oz leaves her to deal with his wolf issues. This leaves a giant void in Willow's life. While I don't believe that she loved Oz for all of the right reasons, I do believe that she did love him. Not only Oz himself, but how he changed Willow's image. Suddenly, Willow didn't have the "My boyfriend's in the band" comment to fall back on. She was just Willow. So on top of dealing with the pain of losing Oz himself, she had to deal with no longer being Oz's girlfriend. What's a girl like Willow to do in a situation like this? Turn to magic, of course. A plan that doesn't go as smoothly as she's like ("Something Blue") However, a new door opened for Willow in "Hush". In this episode, she met Tara. Someone who would change Willow's life a great deal, and in many complex ways. When Willow and Tara join hands to push the soda machine in front of the door, Willow can feel the surge of power that Tara sends through her. Tara is a very powerful witch herself, so she is able to push Willow far beyond the boundaries of what Willow could accomplish on her own. Willow, ever the fan of more power, puts this fact to good use. She and Tara begin meeting to do spells of all kinds. Always in secret, and usually whenever Willow feels like it. Meaning that it was more of Willow wanting what Tara could give her than wanting to be around Tara herself. Willow's desire to keep Tara a secret isn't surprising, given how Tara looks at Willow. To the world around her, Willow is known as a weak computer geek and sidekick to the Slayer. To Tara, Willow is a cool, powerful force, without the need to be helped by anyone. So, Willow's fix here doesn't just come from the magic, but the identity that she's able to adopt through Tara. On the magic side of this though, Tara unknowingly becomes Willow's "dealer". The supplier of that which Willow uses to escape the realities of her life. Willow is addicted to power, even as far back as season 4 (actually, it goes back to season 2 or 3, but is more visible in season 4) and Tara supplies that power. Tara enjoys being with Willow, but I think that on some level, Willow (whether she knows it consciously or not) enjoys being around the power more than she enjoys being around Tara. And at some point, that line becomes very blurred, but we'll get to that soon enough. Stepping back a bit, I'll give a couple more examples of what would drive Willow to such extremes to become someone new and escape her past. Two of the most obvious examples are in the episode "Doomed". In this episode, Willow bumps into Percy at a party. The two seemed to be pretty good friends in high school, despite their rocky start, and Willow thought that this was another example of her becoming a little cooler. However, Willow overhears Percy talking to another girl, referring to Willow as the nerd that Willow thought she'd left behind. This obviously bothers Willow. She even tries to use the Oz card again to prove that she's not a nerd. In the same episode, Spike plays this card to get to both Willow and Xander, knowing that it's a sore spot for both of them. Both have issues with not being powerful enough, or worth very much (Willow the geek and Xander the pizza delivery guy). This episode shows a lot of the motivation for Willow to get involved with Tara and push herself with magic. It's an easy way of not dealing with her issues, and putting on a new face. In the episode, "Restless", we see a lot of this arc played out through Willow's eyes. Some might read into the title of her book report on "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" as a clever play on words. The lyin' about who she is, and what she's trying to become. The witch part is obvious. And the wardrobe is again all about the part she's playing. Her whole dream is about her putting on an act, and when Buffy rips off the costume that Willow's wearing (the new cooler clothes), Willow finds herself standing in front of her old high school class, dressed as the high school geek we saw in episode 1 of the series, with everyone (including her friends and love interests) laughing at her and who she really is. This leads us into season 5. In season 5, Willow can just be mean. Sometimes bordering on Cordelia… she's essentially becoming what she hated in high school. The way she treats Anya is bad enough, but the way she treats Tara is worse. She expects Tara to follow her, and when Tara expresses thoughts of her own (see "Tough Love") Willow doesn't like it very much. But let's go back to Willow's treatment of Anya. It's obvious that Willow doesn't like Anya, and I think that this is because Anya is in a relationship with Xander. Anya is treading in Willow's waters here. In this season, Willow begins to push her magic a little too far. The addiction that she formed in season 4 becomes deeper and deeper. The way that Willow uses magic in season 5 is just sloppy and at times, dangerous. It is an addiction at this point. It is not only an escape (as it was in earlier seasons), it's a hard core addiction. A craving that she can't deny, and she just wants more and more, despite the risk to herself. The nosebleeds are a sign of this. We can still see signs of Willow trying to be someone that she isn't in season 5. In "The Body", we see Willow trying to figure out what to wear when she goes to see Buffy at the morgue. Who is she supposed to be? How is she supposed to come across? What face should she wear to this? She makes a comment about her sillier clothes, wondering why she can't have grown up clothes (even though by this point, she was usually wearing more or less fashionable clothes). She's still trying to figure out what image she wants to put across. In the episode, "Tough Love", Willow once again finds herself in a situation where she is the outsider. On some level, she's no longer Buffy's equal because she has no idea what Buffy is going through, having to take care of Dawn by herself. Willow tries to discuss this with Tara, but gets upset at Tara when Tara suggests that Willow can't know what Buffy is going through. When Tara mentions that Willow's use of magic is starting to scare her, Willow gets upset and a big fight takes place. Tara is later attacked and has her mind altered by Glory, leaving her unable to take care of herself. At the end of the episode, as sick as it sounds, it seems as though Willow is happy to once again be on level ground with Buffy. The whole situation just felt very uncomfortable to me. Season 6 is when Willow's issues become more obvious. The addiction is brought to a more obvious level, which some people don't like very much. Her attitude becomes more of an issue. Her thirst for power becomes a pretty big issue. In "Wrecked", she even says that Tara never met the real Willow. Toward the end of the season, when Willow loses it and becomes all evil, she even refers to herself in the third person, as though the witch exists apart from the normal person. This duality was interesting to me. In season 6, we see Willow trying to be a normal person, but she's unable to do it. She doesn't know who she is without the magic. Eventually, that magic takes control of her. In this season, we see Willow using mind control spells on people. Most notably, altering Tara's mind so that she will behave as Willow wants her to. One has to question whether or not Willow's use of this spell in "All The Way" was the first time she performed this spell on Tara. The supply was on hand and ready to use, and the book in "Once More, With Feeling" lists no other use for the Lethe's Bramble other than "augmenting spells of forgetting and mind control". This is an interesting description. The word "augmenting" would seem to imply that a spell already existed, which would need to be augmented. Regardless of whether or not you believe that Willow had performed this spell before, this is another example of Willow not wanting to deal with Tara as an equal. When Willow and Tara first got involved, Willow was the superior officer in that relationship. Tara was the reserved, shy person. As Tara grew, she became more independent and stronger. The more this happened, and the more she asserted herself, the less in control Willow was. Willow decided to alter Tara, and make her the more submissive person that Willow preferred to be around (which could be compared to slipping Tara a drug, and thus raping her, but that's an issue that would take a long time to get into). This eventually became Willow's answer to all of life's problems. The episode "Tabula Rasa" presents Willow's addiction to magic, and why she needs it so bad. She uses magic as a normal person would use a remote control. If you don't like what's playing, change the channel. Season 6 goes on, and Willow becomes even more arrogant than before. It's not so much about having Buffy back alive and being happy with that. To Willow, it's about showing power. It's about Buffy thanking her for her great deed. However, with "Tabula Rasa", "Smashed" and "Wrecked", we see the downfall of Willow. She uses her power to alter her friends, which eventually results in Tara leaving. Instead of staying depressed about Tara being gone, Willow de-rats Amy. Rather easily this time around (which I would explain in season 8), but that's not the point here. The point is that the loss of Tara's supply of power hurts Willow, possibly as much as losing Tara herself. So she brings in another witch, who is both powerful and willing to use that power. She says that it's nice to have another witch around. While she does show signs of missing Tara, which I don't dispute, she seems to miss that magic just as much. Of course, she and Amy go on a magic binge, and Willow ends up being jolted by powerful and less than good magics, which result in Dawn being hurt while Willow's on a high. After this happens, Willow decides to quit magic. At the end of the episode, we see her discussing her addiction with Buffy in a way that sums up a lot of what I've said here. She says that Tara's never even known the real Willow, again showing that duality in her. The old "geek" Willow versus the new super Willow. In her mind, the old Willow isn't good enough, which caused this whole mess. The season goes on and Willow attempts to stay off of magic. A little bit of the old computer nerd shows through here, but any progress that she makes is thrown back when she gets back together with Tara, only to have Tara killed right in front of her. It probably wasn't wise of her to get back into a relationship so soon, and especially with a witch, but I'll put that aside for the sake of making this essay of mine just a little bit shorter. When Tara dies, Willow goes off the deep end. The magic side of her comes back, stronger and angrier than ever. She gets into the much darker areas, flays a guy, almost kills a few of her friends, and then comes close to destroying the world. What's interesting is the way she tends to talk about herself in the third person as she's on this rampage. Discussing her former self as though it were another person who is no longer worthy of life. Eventually, Willow is brought back to her senses when Xander appeals to her human side, and brings her down with the love that he has for her. This attack by Xander isn't about attacking the magic in Willow, it's about bringing out the human in her. The normal, geeky girl that he grew up with, and shared so many memories with. Appealing to that part of her weakened her enough to end her attempt to destroy the world. In season 7, we see that Willow then heads off to England with Giles to learn how to harness the power inside of her. This is where the arc gets a bit blown for me, because the message is twisted and distorted a bit here. We're told that the magic is part of Willow and that she can never be free of it… okay, addicts always have to be careful of their addictions because it can always resurface. However, Willow is being taught how to use the magic in a proper way. Basically, they're letting the drug addict run the pharmacy here. This is really just a backstep in the writing, because it's easier to use magic to solve the weekly problems than to figure out another way, and also season 7 tended to be heavy on the girl power. So having Willow lose that magic would seem like taking away her power. I personally didn't buy this, because I've always seen Willow's magic as a way to escape her true self. A weakness disguised as power. In season 7, she also forms a relationship with a potential Slayer named Kennedy. A relationship that didn't work too well, and seemed like an attempt by either Willow the character, or the writers (depending on whether you want to stay within the reality of the show, or the reality of the show's production) to prove Willow's gay-ness following the uproar of some rather vocal Willow/Tara fans following Tara's death (the fact that Kennedy is so old compared to the other potentials also plays into this). Joss himself stated that while they may have wanted to explore the gray areas of Willow's character in season 7, in regards to her sexual preference, the reaction of those fans pretty much nixed any of those thoughts. The writers set out to prove that Willow was still a hundred percent gay… Despite claims by Joss in season 4 that it wasn't about gay or straight, it was just about the people. In short, it was a political decision. Not a decision made to remain true to Willow's character. She was the Ampata (see "Inca Mummy Girl") of the series. Sacrificed for the "greater good", or however you would like to phrase it. This area, as you can tell, is less about the driving forces behind the Willow arc, and more about my personal feeling about the destruction of that arc. I just don't see how season 7 stays true to her arc at all, so I can't get into the psychological factors involved. Eventually, Willow uses the Scythe to activate all of the Slayers in a spell that turns her hair white, indicating that she's somehow achieved a higher level of power… Oh. Yay. (sarcasm ahoy) Which finally brings us to season 8. If you've read this far, you might as well finish it, right? In season 8, I wanted to bring back some of the elements in Willow's character that I thought were missing in later seasons. I wanted to bring back her arc, and resolve it. I wanted to bring Willow into her true power, and not have her hide behind false power. When the season starts out, the group moves to a town which is smaller than Sunnydale. No Starbucks. No airports. No train stations. It's a small, secluded town, which is not a Hellmouth but still has some mystical pull to it. It's also filled with normal people who know nothing about vampires, demons, or the forces of darkness. Early in the season, Willow uses her magic quite a bit. She uses it to resolve the infestation issue in the season premiere, "Scratch". As she performs the spell here, she is struck by one of the burning mini-demons, which causes her focus to shift for a moment, sending out a shockwave. At the end of the episode, we see this shockwave run into a pile of rubble, which then begins to rattle around a little. In the following episode, we learn that Willow has been a bit homesick lately. So, someone who is familiar with how the season ends would probably realize that Willow's power, the spell that she performed (note the words to that spell), and her loss of focus actually cause the mysterious rebirth of Sunnydale. This explains why the town looks just as she remembered, but others see slight differences. This is Sunnydale as Willow remembers it. Since she remembers two Sunnydale High Schools, they end up merging into one school. Okay, enough about that though. Back to Willow's arc. Early in the season, she does use her magic quite often, and quite well. In the episode "Me Time", Willow is sent back in time and is forced to come face to face with her past self. The version of herself that she has been trying to avoid for years. In this episode, we see Willow relating to this side of herself in a rather hostile way. However, in the end, the only way for the shadow demon to be killed is by having both Willow's work together to stop it. No magic. Just simple, normal Willow. Willow of the now has to come to terms with her past self and accept that side of her before the day can be saved. Once it is, Willow can go back to the future (and I didn't even mean to make the movie reference there). With this issue a little closer to being resolved, the episode ends. In the next episode, Willow is still attempting to deal with this when she is offered a job in town hall. The job is all about the computer and inputting data. Willow's hesitant at first, but eventually accepts the job when she's offered a good salary. It's now that the battle inside of her begins, in a subtle way. As she begins her job at town hall, she starts to use her magic less and less. In fact, when she does attempt to use it, it doesn't always work. Some of this is chalked up to whatever she is attempting to battle being too powerful, but eventually she has to come to terms with the fact that she's losing the power. This is not due to any external force. This is a battle within Willow. The old computer geek is coming out more, and repressing the magic. As the old Willow comes out more, she begins to see some of the old feelings for Xander resurface. This is of course very confusing for her, given her less than straight lifestyle, but it's hard to hide after a while. (This is not meant to say "gay bad!" Willow still has very complex feelings about Tara, so I was not trying to undo that part of her) When something finally does happen between them, there is a buildup inside of Willow, which results in the old magic to come out in full season 6 force. This is in no way meant to suggest that the evil Willow was the lesbian Willow, so hold off on those e-mails. It was just a battle of the Willow that was hidden for years versus the Willow that she became over the years. In the end, we discover why Willow has a way of referring to herself in the third person when she is like this. Because there is a spirit inside of her, which entered her body in season 2's finale, "Becoming". Not a full possession where she is being totally controlled by another being, but a spirit that has enabled her to act on some impulses that she otherwise wouldn't have been able to. As Amy said in "The Killer In Me" (just about the only part of that episode that I'll ever wish to reference again), Willow somehow managed to access powers greater than almost any other witch in the world without much struggle, while witches like Amy had to work twice as hard to be half as good. In season 8, we learn that there was a force inside of Willow that enabled her a bit more, and urged her toward the person that she eventually became. Once this being was out of Willow (which was not very easy on Willow herself, and was made possible by the herbs in the backyard that were planted by a familiar face a century ago), Willow is forced to deal with life without a crutch. Just being plain, simple, "weak" Willow. And she does struggle with this, trying to figure out how she can possibly be of any use to the world in such a state. This is when Willow is forced to come into her true power. The person that she's always been, but was trying to hide from. In the series finale, "The Power", Willow faces off against Amy. Amy was left in the past back in "Me Time" and had spent several years becoming more powerful than we've seen her before. Her return to the future around the time of Buffy's resurrection in season 6 is what enabled Willow to de-rat Amy back in that season… it all comes full circle. As Willow fights Amy, who is attacking at full magic force, she has to figure out a way to stop Amy, despite the fact that she is "powerless" herself. The battle ends in a science lab, in the new version of Sunnydale High. A fitting place for Willow to battle. In this scene, Amy begins to draw on different elements to form a spell that would kill Willow and turn her to dirt. Willow struggles a lot with this fight, but eventually uses her brain to figure out a way to stop Amy. By thinking in a scientific manner, Willow uses zinc to react with the elements that Amy is gathering for her spell. This causes the spell to backfire, and kills Amy. Willow defeats Amy with science, and in doing so, comes into her true power. The point of this being that Willow didn't have to be a superhero to be special. She didn't have to become someone that she's not. All she had to do was be herself, and that is where her power is. Some might disagree with this path for Willow, but I saw it as a fitting end for the character. Allowing her to have some resolution, and come full circle for the series finale in a way that I didn't think Joss did in season 7, with "Chosen". In the end, Willow ends up being a normal, plain, geeky human being, just like she was before. And she's okay with that. One note that I'd like to make here is the connection that I see between the Willow arc and the history of Giles. In his youth, Giles rebelled against who he was born to be, and got into some pretty scary magic. While he didn't go quite as far as Willow, he still managed to do his damage. However, Giles eventually had to come to terms with who he was, and accept what he was born to be. Inside, there is a bit of Ripper, but the true Giles is the man that we see on the show. Giles says this much when he encounters Ethan in season 2. I see Willow as a younger version of Giles. On a similar path, with a similar outcome. She won't be as shy and reserved as she was when the series started. She will be a strong, smart, powerful woman who doesn't care how the world sees her. And now the two words that we've all been waiting for… The End!